i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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