Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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