The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
