I'm lost and stupid without you.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
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I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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