dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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