There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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