Plan B is the new Plan A
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.