Texts From Last Night

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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1508) Bad night (580)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Let's get naked and see who's stronger.

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  (360): Let's get naked and see who's stronger. http://tfl.nu/4286
  Replies (8) Good night (1845) Bad night (577)
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  (585): View more from New York

  WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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  (585): WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET http://tfl.nu/jxod
  Replies (17) Good night (1095) Bad night (4879)
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  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (3351) Bad night (7939)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
  Replies (5) Good night (932) Bad night (3040)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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  (306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s
  Replies (14) Good night (1147) Bad night (2929)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.

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  (717): She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/4m88
  Replies (7) Good night (2683) Bad night (933)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate

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  (908): Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate http://tfl.nu/t9ao
  Replies (3) Good night (2368) Bad night (933)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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  (770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08
  Replies (3) Good night (1979) Bad night (619)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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  (780): i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch. http://tfl.nu/33ox
  Replies (7) Good night (1992) Bad night (684)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

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  (860): You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS! http://tfl.nu/g8vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1370) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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  (617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb
  Replies (7) Good night (2961) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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  (619): Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up http://tfl.nu/pxnj
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (529)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..

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  (770): I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair.. http://tfl.nu/10ie
  Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

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  (603): They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise (802): Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence. http://tfl.nu/7axp
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (279)

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