escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.