Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.