My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
