were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
