Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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