Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
