Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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