I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
