Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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