I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize