Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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