Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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