So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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