I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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