Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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