1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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