At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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