its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
