I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
