sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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