And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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