I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
