i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
time to smoke my breakfast
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
