did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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