Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
