you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
