listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
