So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
