im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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