I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
