Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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