god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
