your room smells of hookers.
And success
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
