I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
