I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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