he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
