This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
