it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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