your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We need a shit load of segways right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
