these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
