you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
