Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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