I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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