Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize