I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
