Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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