thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize