i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD