waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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