Yo dont text me then not text me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
