So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize