You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
