Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
