Porn is love you can see.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
