I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
