how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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