I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Welp...herpes.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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